Indirectness-the Indian perspective

In my previous post, i had explored the concept of “German directness” and the new perspectives i had acquired from this approach. This time around, i would like to draw a parallel to my Indian roots. The Indian communication style is a striking contrast to this directness. There is a brighter side to this “Indirectness” in different contexts- both personal & professional. Yes, it is impossible to be both “Direct” and “Indirect” at the same time. However, the uniqueness in every cultural context provides us with newer insights and it is up to us “when” to take a leaf out of these contrasting approaches as there is no “One size fit all” model. The objective of exploring cultural dimensions is not to encourage stereotypes or biases. Rather, this is to understand the psyche behind the diverse approaches to the same situation and embrace the beauty in the uniqueness.

In India, a “direct” communication style is perceived as rudeness/bluntness. Indians often express themselves in an indirect style with an intent to show politeness and respect. Being a “high power distance” oriented society, Indians make even rejections sound polite and courteous. The bedrock of the Indian culture- be it personal or professional interactions is “Building/fostering relationships”. It is quite possible for an Indian to take offence if the communication is “direct” and kept too much “to the point”. Even if it is a difficult message, it is accompanied by small talks/pleasantries with an intent to show empathy/solidarity.

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I would like to share what the Indian communication style has taught me and how i see things:

 Be empathetic: Whether it is a personal contact or a professional acquaintance, if there is some displeasure or discomfort, i will indicate the same but not without a slightly elaborate context setting or pleasantries. For me, building and fostering relationships as well as conveying my thoughts dispassionately become equally important. While it is inevitable for me to break a negative message in both professional and personal situations, i also want to show empathy and solidarity rather than keeping it brief and direct.

 Focus on the journey: While i appreciate the equality and participative style of German management in team meetings, i also believe in respecting someone for what they have done. Respect may come from a position or authority, in the Indian context (Blame the high power distance). But i see it as a respect for the journey that the person has been through and where he/she draws inspiration from in reaching that position. Drawing a parallel to the German style, i believe in holding the same level of respect for anyone in any profession/ sphere of life by viewing or getting to know their journey holistically.

 Walking that extra mile: I have had an opportunity to hear people abroad heaping praises on the Indian work ethic. Be it a formidable task with tight deadlines and limited resources which might seem unrealistic, i see it as the willingness to walk that extra mile to make things work despite all odds. I believe in making realistic commitments, but also not without exploring all the hidden possibilities before saying a “No”.

 A collectivistic society: While staying in Germany helped me explore my independent side and view how the world there believes in taking ownership of things and an experiential learning style (a personal quality that I resonate with), i also see the “indirectness” in how Indians view the interests of a group and are not shy in seeking/providing help. When different nations succumbed to the most formidable circumstances, the “collectivistic” society that India is did not shy away from extending support to everyone who needed it.

 Adaptability: The indirectness also spells adaptability While Indians are partnering with counterparts across the globe and cultures, the politeness in communication is also to show adaptability. In today’s context, it is pertinent to speak the language of your customer. Indians with their ability to handle uncertainty and adaptability often turn around sticky situations especially in customer-facing roles.

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In the context of coaching, this indirect communication style has helped me gain the following insights:

 Empathy: This is one of the most important qualities of a coach. Especially when it comes to listening and viewing the client’s situation free from any sort of bias is one of my key takeaways from this cultural perspective

 Being polite and still conveying the message: On one hand, i look at not just keeping questions brief and direct, but on the other i also very quickly set the premise. Whether it is a visualization exercise or diving into sensitive zones of questioning/exploring or responding to some concerns which may not lie within the scope of my role as a coach (for example: advising/prescribing something), i politely and quickly convey the rationale behind the approach.

 Adaptability: Coaching is a very “in the moment” process and eerily similar to some sort of a penance. Different clients come with different challenges to be addressed and it has also happened many a time that the direction of the conversation completely shifts Southward as against the initial intent/objective. As a coach, it also requires me to be adaptive and travel with the client. I believe that this is not just a byproduct of empathy described earlier, but importantly, adaptability.

 Building a healthy coach-client relationship: Given that, a healthy client-coach relationship is the bedrock of a successful coaching partnership. As much as the intent is kept direct and professional, to some extent, having a small talk/additional line of interaction has helped me co-create that safe space of trust and mutual respect with the client. This has also enabled the client to stay open, vulnerable and curious in the whole journey.

While it is impossible to be both “Direct” and “Indirect” at the same time, the uniqueness in both these cultural contexts provides me with newer insights and to help me understand “when” to take a leaf out of these contrasting approaches. The objective behind this contrasting exploration is to certainly not encourage any sort of stereotypes or biases. Rather, this is to understand the psyche behind the contrasting styles of communication and help me see the same situation through a different pair of lens.