Limiting beliefs (or) limitless possibilities: reframing the narrative
Life often throws at us the weirdest challenges. More so, in the form of sticky situations wherein our worst fears come true! We often run away from certain things owing to some discomfort or apprehension that sets in early on before even attempting. This apprehension could be fed to us in the form of information we acquire from people around us, listening to their views and this naturally builds the foundation (the barrier). This could also emerge from early life experiences. Either way, this barrier slowly turns into a form of fear.
Sooner or later, the very same life brings these situations which we always wanted to escape from. However, as we evolve, there is this invisible and unknown source of strength/energy which drives us forward. This also helps us encounter these barriers and in fact enables us to see the same situation through a different pair of lenses. Where do we get this energy from? How do we end up seeing the same situation differently? How does a barrier so firmly cemented within slowly manages to break away with life’s experiences?
These are questions which make me marvel at the sheer ability of life to help us face our foes and break those barriers!
To recall a simple example from my school days! Often than ever, i used to keep praying mentally to never be called out for answering a question/participate in a classroom activity! The more fiercely i prayed, it was quite a relief to hear the bell chiming marking the end of the hour! However, the relief was short-lived as the teacher ends up announcing the names of those who would be participating in the class activity the next day! No prizes for guessing- my name would be on the list! Cut to years later, when i was pushed by my friends to take part in an audition for a school day program, i did the same! Despite the track record of these prayers not working, i still prayed… And i ended up being shortlisted Despite my attempts to give my not-so-best during those auditions!
I saw that each time, i chose to be away from being on the center stage, the more i was being dragged forward! And needless to mention, each time somehow i was able to navigate through this barrier and partake in the aforementioned activities as though i was never perturbed in the first place. Also, despite having experienced this whole cycle of encountering the barrier quite a few times, each time it feels like the first time!
I see this whole trend as life telling, “This is my way of making you encounter your fears/barriers. You need to use these instances as opportunities to outgrow your barriers and limiting beliefs. You got this!”. It makes me think, “Are we truly beyond these barriers and limiting beliefs that we have been holding on to for years”?
Also, being in a professional space today, wherein the ability to anchor difficult and crucial conversations is a non-negotiable and a core competency, i truly see how the dots connected right from the day of the audition till date.
While it is still a mystery how the scheme of things unfolds despite our fears/apprehensions/hesitations, it is undeniable how powerful we feel after being able to successfully win over those pre-conceived beliefs & blindspots! For someone who might be afraid of water, jumping into a cold pool definitely seems way out of his/her league!
But it takes that leap of faith to carry out the first step- “overcoming the fear of the unknown as to what happens upon jumping”. The breathing patterns shift dynamically, the body shivers and in contrast to the cold, the sweat resulting from the fear engulfs the individual. However, after a couple of minutes, the body gets acclimatized to the cold and experiences a new sensation. A sense of invigoration occurs wherein one feels as though he/she had become powerful! The fruits of facing your foes are definitely sweeter, but it is not easy to take this first step.
Even during coaching conversations, i have often come across clients who discuss their fears/barriers/limiting beliefs and how they wish to overcome despite the apprehension to take the first step. However, what i learn by virtue of their experiences, are highlighted below:
* Listing down your fears/limiting beliefs/barriers and the source as to where they emerge from
* Reframing the narrative of barrier as a challenge to be overcome or the discovery of a new untapped skill rather than something to be avoided
* Thinking about how you would feel like if you faced these barriers (Imagining yourself and how you would feel especially if the outcomes are going to be positive is a powerful future focusing exercise)
* Identifying triggers which positively influence you to act upon the goal you have committed yourself to.
* Embrace failure; it is not possible to win the very first time. Just like accepting your fear/barrier, it is also important to embrace a failed attempt. But the silver lining lies in acknowledging that, you have taken the first step.
* Acknowledging small wins in your endeavor to overcome those challenges.
* Seeking support when in need. Support need not necessarily always come from yourself; it could also emerge from a person whom you trust.
* Sharing/articulating your experience and learnings. Being open and honest with your own self.
Brilliantly written blog. I can relate myself completely with the situations described .