All the answers lie within you!
One of my clients had come forward to speak about her multifarious roles spread across work and home during one of our regular coaching conversations. She also spoke about how she was receiving no credit/acknowledgement from any side for all her efforts and how she was feeling overwhelmed. Through a visualization exercise, she was able to take me through a typical scenario of what exactly transpires and how it leads to this feeling of “lack of acknowledgement”.
No matter how many times she said that, she didn’t want to care about seeking external validation, every-time she ended by saying that there was no credit/acknowledgement. After a brief silence, i asked her “what was the common trend emerging across all these situations?”. She said that she may say that external validation is not required but then she craves for a little bit of appreciation. She also noticed that, no one was expecting her to do anything out of the way, but it was she, who wanted to ensure everyone and everything was taken care of. When further asked, “If you were to ask your higher self, about the roles that you play across work and life, what would be the response?”. She thought briefly for a moment and said that, her higher self would laud her for giving her best in each situation and doing all that she can to the best of her knowledge. She also stated that, in her quest for external validation, she had ignored her own inner self which would give her a better view of what she wanted to know.
She reached out again sometime during the week subsequently and said that she is taking a moment everyday to acknowledge her efforts. She did so by writing down what all she had been able to do during the day for which she was thankful. She also started taking time off just for herself. Celebrating small wins, a daily note of gratitude, allocating time for self were simple steps which eliminated the need for external validation in her. She said that she felt happier as all that she wanted to hear were within her!
This was such a powerful realization not just for her but also for me.
Coaching conversations often elicit such heart-warming learning experiences. Each time, i am reminded of the words of the protagonist in Paulo Coelho’s’ Alchemist - “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”. This holds so much truth each time a journey of coaching begins. There are blind spots that stop you from believing what you are truly capable of. However, when you take steps to slowly taking cognizance of the limiting beliefs which stop you from going forward, the shift happens over a course of time. Same applies to your capabilities. Sometimes all the answers that you ever wanted to hear, lie within you! In fact, all that you want to ever achieve, becomes absolutely possible, when you look within just to understand that you can simply tap into the resources and capabilities you have been endowed with.
The inner self -You have brought out something that lies deep in our inner minds but remains latent until one reaches out to it . It is a common trait of a human being to yearn for appreciation and recognition both in the personal and work fronts. More often than not people are frugal on appreciation and lavish on criticism. You have provided a simple solution of asking response from inner-self not only for those who look for external recognition but also others who want to know how they are faring or progressing in whatever tasks that they have taken up. Excellent writing. Well done.
Wonderful use of specific words to illustrate the thoughts ....inspired by the content ...good wishes